When I was a little girl I was fascinated by a glass prism I had. I don’t remember how I came about to have it. But I loved every time a ray of sun entered the glass and colors burst out painting the walls all over my room. There was no way to know where the blue, red or yellow would end. I only knew the colors would come out. It was like a moment of celebration I looked forward to with greater expectation every time. Later on, I understood why a single ray of sun could change into multiple colors. I learned of the angles the glass had and how each color would travel at a different speed bending at different times, splitting, and coming out in different colors, instead of all mixed and together in a single ray of white light. Because each color was unique.
I grew up in Church. Going to church every Sunday made us good people. We followed certain rules, dressed up the same way, our thoughts were alike; we belonged to something and were accepted. Later on I learned that we were accepted as long as our thinking was like everybody else. We couldn’t be bent. Being bent meant that we were weak and not like the rest. That would contradict the ideas that had been put in our hearts. We had to be like a single ray of sun, traveling together without ever being disrupted or changed. And as a ray of light, I followed what I thought was expected of me.
As I grew up, I began to discover there were multiple colors in the world, that just like me, could paint the world beautifully. They were different. They traveled at a different speed than me. They bent at any angle life put in front of them, and they kept on shining! How amazing! A different color; a different speed; but coloring the world in beautiful ways. Could that be possible?
One day, I decided to step outside of the painted lines and walked away from the expectations people had for and about me. I realized I was being limited and unable to reach out the fullness of what I was capable of. Actually, God had better expectations for me; much better than what the organization or system had. I had been kept in bondage. Structures were no longer what called my attention or what I needed. Like the people of Israel, I needed to step out into the wilderness in faith and look for what would bring bright colors out of my life and reflect in others as ways to shine more brightly than they ever knew.
The moment my foot stepped outside the lines, I realized I was damaged goods. I had been hurt by a system that was never looking for my own good but for what will work best for it. However, God had a better place for me, where I would be a real agent of change. I searched for different angles in life that would bring the colors that were screaming to be let out of my life. In my quest, I was amazed by rays of light that beautiful people brought outside their life, making every moment a humbling moment. Ever since, I’ve been searching for a more challenging angle in life that would bring out a brighter color than before.
The path I have chosen to walked, has been filled by momentary angles that I have not regretted experiencing. In fact, I have entered each one at my own free will bursting my life in colors I never knew existed. And I will do it all over again…